Self-acceptance a key to dealing with holiday stress

The holiday season can be tough.

“Christmas and New Year’s are wrapped around a lot of heightened emotion,” said Jaquita Marshall, LCPC, NCC, a counselor with Meritus Mental Health Urgent Care. “There are a lot of stereotypes associated with the holidays that end up causing more stress because they don’t fit with your life.”

Marshall said there are ways to deal with the holidays to help lessen, if not avoid, the potential negative feelings and depression.

The Meritus Mental Health Urgent Care, found at the Orange entrance to Robinwood Professional Center on the Meritus campus, offers support to anyone in the community on a walk-in basis as well as by appointment. That has included patients from Pennsylvania and West Virginia, as well as Maryland.

The practice offers support for individuals ages 5 and older, including children, adolescents and adults. It’s for those who are facing a mild-to-moderate mental health crisis, such as anxiety, depression or challenges with drug or alcohol use.

“We try to provide that sense of emotional support on a one-to-one basis,” Marshall said. “A part of that is providing tools and strategies to help manage things going on.”

One key is to realize that our thoughts dictate our mood and behavior.

Perception plays a big part in that, so turning off social media or the television is a good place to start.

“If you have someone who feels they are missing out on a lot, who is seeing posts of things they want that others are doing, they can internalize that,” Marshall said. “People get stuck on the old-school traditions, so if you need to think outside the box and create something that works for you, that's OK. Your tradition doesn't have to mimic what you see in a Hallmark movie.”

However, humans are social creatures. Interacting with others — in person — is important for lessening depression symptoms.

“It’s helpful, as far as our mental health, to be able to laugh and have conversations with people,” Marshall said. “But the more you interact on social media instead of in person, the more awkward your in-person interactions become.”

That, again, has to do with perception.

“With the electronics, you don't see someone's facial expression, so you don't feel you’re being judged as much,” Marshall said. “A big culprit of social anxiety is that feeling that you're going to be judged. But when you’re isolated, that, too, can contribute to depressive feelings.”

That’s not to say you must go to a gathering of hundreds of people.

“I know there are people who want to isolate, for whom being around a whole lot of people is overstimulating, and that's OK,” she said. “If you want to share your social time with one or two people, that's OK.”

Things can be complicated by grief. Marshall says grief can come from a loss by death or a change in relationship. Getting support from a counselor, a community group or just friends can be a lifeline during the holidays.

Perhaps the best strategy for dealing with holiday stress is embracing who you are and what you can handle.

“The biggest thing is self-acceptance,” Marshall said. “It’s being OK with not wanting to do what everyone else is doing.”

To learn more about mental health services Meritus offers, please visit www.meritushealth.com/mentalhealth.